When people say "Happy Holidays" they say it out of respect for those who celebrate holidays like, Kwanza, Hanukkah and many other holidays that my dumb brain isn't aware of. A holiday that isn't usually mentioned but my dumb brain knows about is Frank Costanza's Festivus.
Festivus made its debut on Seinfeld and I guess you could say that it has a cult like following of sorts. Every year on December 23rd, the Festivus pole is brought out for a day of grievances and feats of strength. It really is a magical day. Below are my feats of strength and grievances, because I have a lotta problems with you people.
Feats of strength:
Qualified for 2 fantasy football championship games
Hosted and produced Belding's #1 podcast
Golfed once a week, after "quiting" multiple times
An assistant basketball coach to an undefeated freshmen basketball team
Grievances:
Any traffic that slows me down
Martha Ford
Detroit pro sports teams
Mark Dantonio not firing anyone
McDonald's no longer serving Powerade
Texas Tech Basketball
Dan Dakich still having a job with ESPN
Happy Festivus everyone! Don't let this holiday be overshadowed by Christmas. Go tell your family how many ways they have disappointed you and show off your strength. Make a Festivus for the rest of us!
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