Happy Easter, folks! I trust that you all have had a good, but distanced Easter. I was able to wake up just in time to watch Easter Mass on TV and then go back to doing nothing today. Today is Day #2 of my 30 or 31 day power ranking journey. In honor of the holiday I am going to power rank the original peeps. Like just the normal Easter themed ones because they just taste like marshmallow anyway. I know that the Peep brand makes all kinds of peeps in different flavors and shapes but screw that. They’re just marshmallows. I only care about the OG peeps.
5. Lavender Peep- I always thought that the Lavender peep was just a purple peep. I hate this peep even more because it’s called the lavender peep. It’s purple. Just call it the purple peep. After all, it’s just a marshmallow bird, I don’t think that a peep is worthy of such a fancy name. Doesn’t matter if it’s a purple or lavender peep, they’re both extreme low in my book.
4. Pink Peep- Perhaps this is just my fragile male masculinity speaking here, but I think that the pink peeps are very weak. If Jim Harbaugh doesn’t eat chicken because they’re a nervous bird, do think he’s eating a pink peep. Hell no.The only reason that the pink peep isn’t in last place is because that dumbass lavender peep exists.
3. Green Peep- Finally starting to trend in the right direction with the quality of peeps thanks to the green peep. While the green peep is eons above the pink and lavender peeps, green still has some work to do. If the peep national tournament started today, they would be playing in a first four game in Dayton. Things could be better, but they also could be worse.
2. Blue Peep- Ah yes, the blue peep a quite literal blue blood in the world of peeps. The blue peeps are sometimes the actual glue that can hold together an average Easter basket. These peeps have the brand recognition and their fans travel well. They also would never be playing as a first four team in Dayton, their peep pedigree is too strong to let that happen.
1. Yellow Peep- The most iconic peep. The best peep legacy. The undisputed best peep in the game. The yellow peep. Easter as we know it doesn’t happen without the yellow peep. I don’t care if you call it the Lebron or Jordan of peeps, just understand that it’s the best peep to ever do it. Truthfully,I am not the biggest connoisseur of peeps, but I big time fuck with the yellow peep. The yellow peep is the peep you want on your team and is head and shoulders above the rest. End of discussion.
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