Day #14 of the power ranking push. It’s a Friyay and today’s blog is brought to you by my 3rd and 4th cups of coffee. This is an older blog that’s coming from the archives, but It still rings true because there are some jerseys that I really would get tatted on my body. I just want to say that I still really miss sports. Also going to get ahead of things here, there are so many uniforms to choose from, I chose the first 5 I thought of, don't read too far into this.
Let me just start by saying this is kind of a weird flex but it's cool, I guess. Anyway, some dude in Venezuela is a big time Michael Jordan guy and he inadvertently has put me on the hot seat. I'd like to think that I'm a big sports fan and I especially like jerseys. I waste lots of money on jerseys and even more time watching games. Can I bounce back as a sports guy? Ehhh, hard to tell right now. Do I need to get a jersey tattooed on my back? I might have to just to get the pressure off me. Here are the jerseys that might be permanently inked on my skin. Let’s ride.
5. Houston Astros Tequila Sunrise – Even the though the Astros are fucking cheaters this uniform looks so good. The Houston Astros don’t cheat in these uniforms and you can’t change my mind. The tequila sunrise is an absolute gem of a jersey and would look awesome permanently etched into my skin. I mean look at those colors. Wouldn't they just make my lower back really pop?
4. 1980 US Men’s Hockey Team – I like hockey but I LOVE America. The 1980 US Olympic Hockey team's jerseys might be the greatest jersey in United States history, even better than the camo that we wore to win back-to-back world wars. To stand in solidarity with Herb Brooks, I will forgo any last name on my back because you play for the name on the front of the jersey.
3. Flint Tropics – Jackie Moon was probably the best player-coach-owner that the game of basketball has ever seen. He loved the city of Flint so much he was willing to wrestle a bear and even trade away his only washing machine just to help his team. How could I not get the Flint Michigan Mega Bowl Champs jersey tatted on my back?
2. Marlins Man Orange Marlins Jersey – The Miami Marlins don’t even wear this jersey anymore, but the Marlins Man doesn’t care. This jersey has become his entire brand and Marlins Man is ok with that because he goes to all the big games and everyone can see him. In a roundabout way the Marlins man did more for this jersey than the actual Marlins ever did.
1. Orlando Magic – Pinstripes would look badass on my back and I don't fuck with the Yankees, so the Magic's pinstripes are exactly what I need. The Shaq and Penny era with the Magic were about as good as it gets for basketball so I would be absolutely honored to rock the Magic for the rest of my life. Also, s/o the Miriam Magic, if you know you know.
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